I don't read novels often. It's not that I don't like to. I just get way too into them. so I usually save novels for vacation. This past week I went to the lake (though I never saw the lake, I don't get that...) with some of my family for a few days. So, I read a novel. I couldn't put it down, either. so I was really glad when I finished it and I could actually spend time with my family. It was seriously distracting. A friend recommended it to me... Jodi Piccolt's "My Sister's Keeper." fascinating story. that's all I'm going to say about the book in particular. This post is more about me... my life. The thing is, I get so absorbed in the story that my thoughts, my dreams, my imagination, is taken over by the story. for the time I'm reading it, and that's why I've got to get through with it. so I feel like I can return to my life. But this past week, I've been thinking that it seems like I'm living someone else's story. Is this really the story I'm meant to live? I imagined it would be different. Not that it's a bad story as it is. Something just doesn't seem right. I thought I'd be... someone else at this point in life. Am I just frustrated that I don't have any real distinct identity right now? I'm so many different things to so many different people, and no main one thing. I feel so anonymous. and I don't really think I should be.
Well, anyway. It was nice to spend some time with my parents this past week, and a little more time with Paul, Shay & the kids. the goal of the week is... get started on this art thing. I went to a gallery for First Friday and instead of feeling inspired felt a little frustrated... because I haven't "had time" to do any art as I'd like to. I keep saying, I just need to get the stuff together and then... why am I really putting it off? Is it a deeper lie that I'm succumbing to... I'm not good enough? It's not worth it? Pray for me. I feel stuck, as though I'll never really be who I'm supposed to be. I had so much hope. now I'm not so sure... the momentum has been lost.
Comments (2)
Rachel. Keep doing what you are doing. You are making a difference. It was great to be with you. Love your apartment. You can do the art, you just have to start. Remember that we are in your corner. Dad
Rachel, I know its been a while since I've connected with you but I was thinking about you and wanted to catch up on what was happening with you. - I just want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Father and make sure you make time for the things He's calling you too. Don't believe the lie the enemy may be feeding you- You have purpose and He's given you a passion and dream. So step out of the boat sister :) keep your eyes on Father and get those brushes out and paint! - sometimes just sitting down and beginning one project will inspire you to do others.. :)
I miss your sweet and meek spirit!
take care and please stay intouch! Melissa